Goodbye, safari print chair & ottoman. I think we need some time apart. Like the unfortunate ending of most relationships these days, I just don’t love you anymore.
Don’t get me wrong–we’ve had some good times, but over the 10 years we’ve been together, we’ve changed. Our tastes have changed. Our styles have changed. And, as hard as it is to admit, we’ve grown apart. I’ve acquired new interests and likes, and you…well, you’ve just stayed the same. And I’m bored with the same ole you. I need some “sparkle”.
In my attempt to salvage this relationship, I’ve made a reservation for you at Burke’s Upholstery. I know this is something new for you, but trust me–it’ll be good for you. It’s this amazing retreat up in north Houston. Mrs. Billie and the other ladies there are so nice, and I’m sure you’ll just love it!
I’ve taken the liberty to schedule you to have some work done while you’re there. I mean, let’s face it…you’re looking pretty haggard lately. A little work would do you good. A nip here, a tuck there, maybe get some color done?
I’ll see you in a couple of weeks, and, I’m hoping I’ll like what I see, and I’ll want you back. I mean, 10 years is a long time to just throw away. Maybe after you’ve had some time away to refresh, we can move into the new house together and have a new start.
Before you go, let’s take a before pic so we can see how far you’ve come once you get back:
Oh, and this spot right here that looks like 2 animals caught in a compromising position…be sure to get rid of that. That got old a long time ago.
Enjoy yourself, and I’ll see you soon. Mwah!