Doggie destroyers

I had no idea that 2 dogs could do so much damage.  I don’t have any pictures to prove it, because, as I told my dad “this isn’t something I want to remember”, so you’re just gonna have to trust me on this. 

In the span of 5 hours, 1 lab and 1 border collie (who shall remain nameless):

  • Removed every cushion and throw pillow from every piece of furniture in the living room and dining room.  Estimated total number of pillows on the floor:  24.
  • Chewed, gnawed, tore up! 2″ blinds on every window in every room they had access to, and 1 room they weren’t supposed to have access to.  Total number of 2″ blinds that I will soon be replacing:  7.
  • Opened (yes, I said OPENED) the door to the bathroom (1 of the 2 rooms in my small house they weren’t supposed to have access to), got into the bathtub (muddy paw prints told the tale), knocked toiletries and other incidentals off of the table underneath the window and chewed on the base of the 2″ blinds.  These blinds, I believe, are salvageable.
  • Tugged at 2 separate panel curtains until the rods came out of the wall and the curtains fell to the ground.
  • Pulled a doggie overnight bag off of my bar-height kitchen table (all bar stools were pushed underneath the table, so how one of them got this high, I have no idea) and ate 1 Heartguard tablet.  Fortunately, both dogs were due this med.  The question is which one got the pill.
  • Knocked over and pawed to death 1 pot plant, spilling the potting soil all over the kitchen floor. 
  • Turned over the water bowl so the mess of beat down pot plant and spilled potting soil turned into mud on the kitchen floor.
  • Traipsed through mud in kitchen so that paw prints were left all over the rest of the house.
  • Chewed the cover of my Bible (my BIBLE!!), and pulled the binding apart.  I think (hope!) this can be repaired.
  • Ripped open a baby shower gift, distributing little pink baby outfits around my house.
  • Dumped a gift bag of bath & body works hand soaps and chewed the red plastic bag into submission.

I think that’s it.  Pretty bad, huh?

Ever the optimist, I’m able to identify a few silver linings among the war zone. 

Neither devil creature:

  • Chewed on any furniture.
  • Tore open any pillows or cushions.
  • Jumped out of the windows they revealed when the blinds and/or curtains came tumbling down.
  • Figured out how to get into my bedroom.
  • Pay-per-viewed porn.
  • Burned the house down.

And here I was just beginning to think Maggie needed a brother…


5 thoughts on “Doggie destroyers

  1. I am just now catching up with your blog, this made me laugh out LOUD! I’m going to go home and hug Sally because she never gets into much of anything!! But this is why I do keep her confined to the kitchen, just in case.

    You can get that Bible re-bound, BTW, if you haven’t already. Take it to your local Lifeway and ask them about it. We used to do those for people all the time, we had to send them off somewhere though, so you’d be without it for a week or two.

    Hope you are enjoying your new blinds!


  2. OMG! I have bad dogs too..two of them AND they ate the cover off a Bible as well and I have pics. You gotta love ’em though! They are awesone in all of their “bad dog glory” Check out mine at tbdc.wordpress.com. Good Luck!


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