were the famous words that just may cost me a whopping $195.
Back in March, in the middle of a bright, sunny afternoon, I got ticketed for making an “illegal turn” on the Shepherd bridge that crosses I-10. You know, it’s that turn that everybody makes, from the middle lane, eventhough there’s no gigantic yellow arrow granting permission to turn left? Yep, that’s the one. I, in all honesty, have never made that turn from that lane before this day.
And as soon as I did, a police officer standing next to his motorcycle (which I find incredibly hot, btw. the motorcycles, not the men. I know better.) motioned me into the empty parking lot with a cheery “Pull in here, ma’am” that I could hear through my opened sunroof and lowered windows. Just.My.Luck.
I knew I was guilty. No sense in arguing that. I was polite and respectful as he went through the motions of issuing my traffic citation. As he examined my driver’s license and me in my gigantic sunglasses, he said, “So are you wearing your contact lenses?” Me, ever the testimony singing the praises of the LASIK procedure boasted, “Oh, no, Officer! I got LASIK!”
No response. Just more writing.
He went on to explain that I was in violation of the “restrictions” on my Texas Driver’s License that state I require corrective lenses to operate a motor vehicle. And, since I no longer met this restriction, it was my responsibility to update the license. He would have to issue a citation for this in addition to the illegal turn I had just made.
I showed him my “LASIK Graduation Card” from the doctor who performed my surgery. The officer wasn’t impressed with this. “The folks down at the DMV have to say you don’t need glasses or contacts anymore. This means nothing to me.”
Dumbfounded, and not quite sure how to lash out at this man (I never have been one for confrontation), tears started to well up behind my sunglasses. I finally stammered, “So, because I’m so excited about my surgery I told you the truth, when really, I could’ve lied and said I was wearing contact lenses, and you would’ve never known the difference.” His response? “Maybe you should’ve lied.”
What makes this worse is that the “restriction violation” for the incorrect vision fine is almost $100 MORE than the fine for the illegal turn. I thought I could handle this myself, but who am I kidding–I couldn’t argue with a cop, how can I expect myself to step up and tell a judge what’s what. So, I’m calling in the big guns and hiring one of the 8–yes, 8–law firms who solicited my business upon issue of the citation. I’m not expecting a miracle here, but I’d at least like the vision restriction citation dropped. I mean, really? It’s not like I drive a big rig for a living. And I can see!
Humph. We’ll just see how all this turns out.